Old Dog seeks new trick 11

[HeavyD]

Because it's hard that is why. It's hard for all of us and that is the reality.

I am sorry for your pain. I am in the same boat.

[rd500]

Hi OD. Firstly I'm sorry for not asking for about S. Glad to hear he's doing ok but scar sounds painful. Of course you get angry, this lady was your best friend and you spent a lot of your life with her She let you down and is with some else. The thing is she did that to you. Now your doing it to yourself everyday

You need to step back At the moment the M is over You have to accept that W is not in a M with you. She will not act like she is and she will not treat you like she is. Please re read Sandis WW post. M

Sorry for the pain your feeling mate. Take care. Rd

[koalada]

Dear OD,
you are really a nice bloke who deserves happiness. I wish I could say anything that would make you feel better. Be kind with yourself, don't beat yourself up.
Sometimes there are no perfect answers to our problems, just second or third best answers. Life is messy and we have to accept it and find our peace about it.
Be aware, that there are people in this world who respect you and feel for you. Again, I think you are a great guy who (again) deserves happiness. And I am sure you will find it (somewhere in the messy life).
If it helps, make a vacation in Germany

Mitch

[Sotto]

Hi OD, hope your day improved a little, and you and the boys had a nice time. I understand about the anger. I've had odd bursts of anger, but not that much on the whole (am I suppressing? IDK) but I've spoken to people who said they just did not know what to do with the rage they felt. And I thought of that when I read your earlier post.

I just wondered whether you and your therapist have looked at the anger together at all? And talked about ways of dealing with it? Perhaps that may help...

You know OD, I hate to see you in this awful sort of limbo with your W, and feeling unable to make a decision. I would love to see OD rise up to his full height - with no fear - and say W, I am doing this! Then I would read that post and cheer for you....(((OD)))

ps: are you off to Ceroc class soon?

[Old Dog]

rd no worries about asking about S15. We can't keep track of everything.

You're right, I am still attached too much but how do detach. I thought time would help. Maybe it does but her adultery is fairly new so perhaps that's the cause of my backsliding.

And I have read sandi's awesome WW threads.

-----

Cheers Mitch

We all deserve happiness. Every one of us who are standing for what's right.

I'd love to visit Germany again. I have so much time for Germany and her people. The only beer I drink is weissbier :-) We actually have friends in Berlin which we used to visit often but the main friend went to university with WW so I feel I can't go now.

[gan]

Every one of us who are standing for what's right.

OD, just a quick observation. Could the above viewpoint be holding you back? To say that standing is right the right thing to do, suggests that it would be wrong not to stand. Maybe the reason why this soooo affects you still is because you are battling your own morals?

In my case, I am standing for what I want (to be married to H). There is a lot less anxiety in that position (have to confess though that IDK if there is an OW...but very plausible).

[Old Dog]

Toots, the first thing I said to my counsellor last week was that I'm so angry ... so yes :-)

We talked about why and the Kubler-Ross grief curve etc. I said I could handle it for the most part by practising mindfullness. It didn't work yesterday though.

Of my three options for living here, I'm leaning towards the middle one: we don't stay in the house at the same time after this week is done. But ... I'm also wondering if should just bite the bullet and get out.

No more Leroc until I'm back on the south coast a week on Tuesday I'm afraid. I'm looking after S15 this week.

ganb8te. Maybe. I don't believe in just giving up without trying everything first. I cannot do that now without WW agreeing, but she doesn't want to so it leaves me high and dry, frustrated and feeling impotent especially as it turns out I'm crap at DBing.

[rd500]

Hi old dog. Don't beat yourself up over bad DBing. It takes time and the acting as if is a huge thing You can only do what you can. Have you looked at relaxation techniques? Life can be very tough and unfair but we have to deal with it It's how we deal and that's why we came to this site. We want to be married to our WAS but we need time to accept " what is "

Stay strong mate. Take care. Rd

[Ggrass]

Here's a crazee thought you can stand and be happy.

You can stand and Do stuff. I kind of was for a long time. I kind of hoped that time wouldn't pass but it seems it kind of has as well.

I'm still out there doing stuff.

You can not really stand or keep a even money bet each way and be happy too. It's all about attitude and you need to make it first on the outside.

[Vanilla]

OD, The only bad DBing is no DBing. If what you do is not working, adjust it, tinker with it, change it or 180. It is a tool kit not just a hammer for hitting yourself on the head with. Use a different tool, save the hammer for another time.

Simples.......


V

BTW, I have some bad scars, mine went keloid, and I was given silicon gel and patches to soften them. It worked, no more painful scars. Just saying.