I would suggest that you continue on w/your life and do the things that you need to do to get the house reading for market and begin packing up things that you don't use. It's a good time to also get rid of things that you haven't used in about 3 years. Packing and tossing is a good way to alleviate the stressors in your life.
As for you h...I wouldn't say another word to him about where he's going to live upon his return. Things can change on a dime and right now, his focus is on the US. If he's throwing a tantrum, walk away, no more discussion. In his own way, he wants you to ask questions about the US so that he can shoot you down. He's like a teething baby and doesn't know what to do about the pain he's in. Leave him to it.
No, you don't have to wait until he has a plan and moves out. He's trying to be difficult right now...don't step into the trap. Leave him to it.
You have a couple of weeks before the 2 yr old returns. Enjoy some peace and quiet while he's gone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
