You'd think that after all these months I'd know that when I bristle it's because I've heard truth.
So I've been nursing a hurt since yesterday, about STBX saying it was worth keeping a couple of snapshot albums from our engagement because it has picture of our families in it.
Then there was the credit card thing.
I had been thinking that it was odd, how everybody else seems to get these tirades from their WAS, and I rarely do. I got a little bit last Mothers Day and at Christmas and that's it. But I do get a lot of these horrible, hurtful, needle-like digs where he's intentionally devaluing me, quietly and deniably. It hurts. I know I'm trying for indifference, but it does make me feel like I threw myself away for 17 years on someone who thinks I'm trash.
I am not trash. I have done the best I could, and I did it with the intention of behaving with integrity. I do not need to hurt the way he seems to want to hurt me. That's his, not mine.
Zues's post about "they know not what they do" comes in to play here. STBX probably does think he's behaving really well under difficult circumstances. The fact that he's being gratuitously hurtful probably doesn't occur to him. He has always been thoughtless that way. It just never occurred to me that I would be included in the circle of people he treats carelessly. (So say women who are with men who have anger issues.)
He wants to meet monthly, alone, out, to talk about the kids. Do I really need to do this? Do other people have that sort of arrangement?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
