Thank you Gwen and job for the pep talk, I know that I am not very good at giving myself permission to have a meltdown.
Woke early hours of this morning to something on my face; after the initial jump up and shake myself off I turned on the light to find a cockroach scuttling up the curtains – nice!
As I lay back down, I did have to smile at the craziness that is my life – if I wrote down what has occurred in the past year or two, then I would have to sell it as fiction as no one would believe it to be real lol.
Gwen – I can tell that you are a lovely beautiful person, as only one like you could show such kindness towards someone they have never met, I am humbled that you choose to be in my circle of friends.
Job – you are so wise and I always listen to you, your advice and support has got me through many a dark day. It would have been easy for me to ring h and ask for help, but I have stuck to my NC rule; I hear you in my head telling me that it is pursuing and the only thing it will achieve is more hurt and rejection. I am always glad that I don’t succumb to temptation, as I know the fantasy conversation in my head really would not go like it in reality!
This state of sadness is getting me down, it hangs over me as a constant reminder of what/who I have lost. I do wonder if I am going to be one of those women who never get over their "one" as I still feel that h was mine ....is mine ....lets stay optimistic a while longer !
