Do her parents know about their grandson's behavior?
Let others talk to her about him IF she is not "available" when you speak to her. Maybe she cannot 'hear you" now but perhaps she could hear someone else.
This is not about being right; it's about doing what works and for now your son must be THE priority.
Don't worry about the divorce as much as HIM (and don't assume staying together with an unworkable relationship and no conflict resolution skills would "fix" it all).
In other words, your wife has to feel she can reach out to her son without necessarily tying it to the marriage, okay?
Work on him AND you and leave the rest. Turn your marriage over to God and help your son.
As for being hopeless about the marriage, I told my sisters in 2006 I was getting divorced, only seeing "maybe a 10% chance of staying married." IT's not over til it's really over and she remarries and has another kid....and even then, maybe.
Don't worry about what SHE SAYS, and only worry about half of what she DOES.
Keep on keeping on.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
