Well - There was an interesting development today. I'm doing my darndest not to read anything into it (and am failing miserably).
I know there are lots of new folks - so quick review. My STBX left me on the day of BD immediately moved in with OW about 45 minutes away and filed for divorce two months later. During all this time - he has bsically withdrawn into a protective bubble with her. I believe she owns the house they live in (although I am not 100% positive - it's possible they rented it together) He surfaces long enough to whisk the kids away for 6 days a month and we have very brief e-mail exchanges about various logistics (We negotiated the terms of the divorce ourselves, and very quickly). He's barely spoken to his own family during this time, although I'm on excellent terms.
One other bit of background. Both STBX are in law enformcement and work for the county in which he now lives. He was in the process of applying for other jobs at the time of BD- but then dropped those plans and has spoken several times about making detective for his current agency (which would give him weekends off).
So today - he texted me that he "doesn't know if I care but he is looking into employment closer to the town that I live in (with our girls)and will let me know if a background check is started (the background check includes interviewing ex spouses) The fact that he would work closer would have no benefit unless he moved closer as well - so I have to think that is on the table.
What does this mean? I have no idea and have tried my best not to descend into a vortex of speculation (without much luck). I do think it's a good sign that maybe he is starting to take the first baby step out of that bubble?
We are going to end up divorced- we are too close to the final date to stop it now. But, I would sure like, at a minimum, to have a warmer co-parenting relationship with him and if he's not in such a withdrawn, secluded place it would sure make it easier. And of course- I'm not going to lie - I would find it a lot easier if OW would go away (I think I could deal with another girlfriend post divorce much more easily). I have no idea if this move to find a new job is a sign of some cracks in that realtionship. After all, I guess she could just be planning on moving with him (if a move is even an option), although that seems unlikely.
So much for trying not to speculate. I can't help it - this is the first little tiny good sign I have had in 8 months.
