I'm in the same boat as you right now just going on less time, and I think we share similar thoughts on the separate sleeping even if we cant admit it out right. I'm scared of what would happen and the consequences. It's not so much afraid of her, but of pushing her away more. I've been sleeping on the couch for over 3 months. I keep making excuses why I don't follow the advice on here to move back into my own bed, mostly because I get to feeling things between me and W might be getting better. I obviously don't want to cause any more conflict and possibly scared that I would upset her and push her further.
They don't respect us Ripe, we are the pushovers that would rather do something degrading in order to avoid conflict. We would rather sleep on the floor or couch in order to please them. Who would respect that. I think I've decided to move back into my bed tomorrow night, and make no excuses to go against it. Ill admit, I'm afraid of what will happen, the sleeping might be better on the floor/couch, but I will respect myself more for standing up for myself.
I say we both follow the advice below asap. No risk, no reward. If this is what people say will cause our W's to respect us(or at least start that path), who are we to say it wont. We already know we've done things wrong so far. Lets stop making excuses and pushing it off until later and do something different for once.
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
You're still not getting it. You don't ask for your wife's PERMISSION to do this, nor do you make a grand pronouncement (waiting to see if she approves or disapproves before acting). You just DO it. If she says "what do you think you're doing in the bed?" just say "I'm much more comfortable here, and I decided that I'm no longer sleeping on the floor."
Why are you so afraid of your wife? Her bluster can't harm you.
Starsky
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
