hold on! - 8

[u-turn]

Thanks Peter.
I know the sooner the better - and I wish it would happen right now, but that is unlikely. I will not believe it until I see her go - she so often goes back on what she says, and I cannot force her out.

She still believes the birds nest thing is a better solution, but I told her why I didn't.

I still think all of that idea is to protect her image with the kids and everyone else. She was surprised that this is about infidelity to me (I am surprised that she is surprised by this ). She may now be panicking a little that people will now start finding out about her and us.

That is why I know she is going to tell everyone that we "just grew apart" and "u-turn did not believe in or support my change of career" . That kind of makes me sick to hear - we didn't grow apart and why on earth would I not like her getting a better job and secure career (kids are older, financial burden is not all on me). I am not going to tell the kids that marriages are disposable and it's alright to D when people change. I want them to know that a M is worth fighting for and I have.

I will not lie to the kids. She may look bad (I am not going to try to make her look bad intentionally), but this is because of her decisions. (She will say it's me that wants this) I will own my part to everyone, but this is not about growing apart. I did tell her that she has to own her part of this - (she said she does every day)

I know that others have come back from this - but I don't know if I want to - I can't really even imagine it.

Just got my spew jacket back from the cleaners - just in time.