Why are you confused? You are very well educated on what MLC is and does to the person who has one. You also are aware of the destructive path they take when they want, what they want and when they want it yesterday. Yes, you've come a long way, but your interactions w/him still tend to confuse you because what you are seeing is a man who was good pre-crisis, became an angry, controlling, and "out of control" man in crisis and is now settling down a bit. What you are seeing now is a man who is coming off the "high" of mlc and it's going to take some time before he truly settles down and is content w/himself and his life. Yes, he's beginning to start the very slow process of landing back into reality. Has he broached the subject of what happened w/him? To me, this is the beginning of truly opening up and talking about that destructive path. You may or may not get an apology of some type...but if he begins talking about how he felt, what he did or doesn't remember some things, that will be the cue for you to truly listen and then talk to him about how things went down for you and the girls...but until then, continue as you have been.
I'm glad things have gotten better, but there's still a bit more healing to be done for both of you. Will it ever be the same again? The answer is no. Too much damage, the bridges were burned and both of you have dealt w/some pain and suffering along the way. You've changed and so has he. The relationship you will share w/him will be that as a father to your girls and maybe, just maybe friends...but time will tell on that one.
Kimmerz, it's not confusing at all. What you are seeing is a man who is settling down and is starting to wake up and I don't think the anger will resurface at this time. He was such an angry man for a very long time. He was angry w/the world and w/himself. I do hope he's finally figured out what was so painful for him to have to deal with. What you are feeling is very, very normal because you had to put up a wall to protect yourself as well as your girls from the emotional hurt.
If you haven't done so, read the thread on reconnection. It may be helpful to you since you are confused. Just remember, nothing will ever be what it once was...a new chapter has begun for the both of you and no one knows how your story will end at this time. Continue as you have been w/no expectations.
BTW, how are the girls doing? I'm sure they are growing by leaps and bounds and keeping busy, as well as keeping you busy. I do hope that they both can find a way to reconnect w/their father some time in the future.
