When is kindness enough?

[Mozza]

Ripe - You need to read NMMNG much more than T5LL at this stage. You've crossed into a different land when your W gave up on you. In a M, being nice and saying I love you are helpful. Where you are now, not so much. As Starsk309 said on sandi2's thread for the LBH, it's important that you start early and strong if you want to have an impact on your W.

There are a lot of people like you around here and many have found a path to self-respect and self-affirmation that inspires love. Among the newcomers, Barry and Closer2 are similar to you and I encourage you to follow them (Maybell too but she's a woman and much farther along). The advice they receive, the mistakes they make also apply to you.

Cadet makes a good point: you need to realize that you don't have much to lose. Whether upset or nice, your W is leaving you. This will take months or years to fix, if at all. Get in the right mindset, detach from the immediate outcome. Read the success stories at the top of my thread.

It seems that a lot of newcomers have a hard time understanding that DBing is not about tricking the spouse into the M, like some pick-up artist with sleek lines. It's about giving W a reason to be in the M by giving them a man they can love. Work on yourself if you want a shot at saving your M.