Hi Fogg, I wish I had a crystal ball so I can see in the future. lol. Its really hard to go completely dark cause we have 2 kids and they ask for him all day long. I only call him if I really need something for the kids, but if its something I just usually wait to see him in person and then tell him. I really hope it doesn't last years. This is the hardest thing I've been through...
I think we all wish we had that crystal ball lol. I hope its not years also, but we have to prepare ourselves that it could be that long, or never. I agree also, this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but in many ways its something I needed.
I hate the fact my W may not take the opportunity we have at an amazing future, but I'm thankful for finding myself through this. I had so many issues that I've recently looked at and understand myself now more than ever.
I think a good place to start is understand your role in the breakdown of your M. Its not totally your fault this happened, each of you played a part, but you have to own up and face your own. During this time figure out what you contributed so that if your H comes back you will be better off, and if not you can be in a better position to make your next relationship work. You will be OK no matter what happens, with or without him.
You said he stopped loving you 2 years ago, during the time you fought about the job he worked at. This is not to say that's what happened, but it sounds like there was some resentment that set in. Over time that resentment builds in a person and acts like a cancer to the relationship.
Try to think about how you two interacted, what hes said or complained about in the past. Generally our S gives us hints of whats wrong but we don't realize it as anything but complaining or nagging. (At least I believe this is true for both WAH and WAW.)
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
