Where to begin?

[Dawgs]

A little update. I wish that I had found this site earlier, then I wouldn't have broken so many of the the 37 rules! Anyway, I never knew that she was as miserable as she was because she internalized things so much to where it got to the point of breaking.

Her main statement is that you never loved me enough for those years - never loved me enough until the mention of divorce. I think that's one of big issues. Her trust issues and all the other stuff from childhood pile on top of it.

As I said earlier, she has agreed to go to marriage counseling starting this coming Monday. I would like to hope that she is going because she honestly wants to try and not to make it look good for a lawyer or whatever.

I think a lot of our problems centered around communication. Another thing, we had our first child less than a year after we got married and we were living far away from our family meant no support - which led to us not doing the things we used to do. The same thing occurred when we moved to our next duty station, and our next child. Maybe that led to some unintentional bitterness.

But, the fact remains that she is angry and very bitter - and I don't know how to overcome that. Maybe there is hope for us. I have also been seeing my own counselor to help me deal with things. After all, I can't become a better husband without working on myself, right?

So, I gave her space and not contacted her during her little away trip, and she ended up contacting me a fait bit - and called twice yesterday: once to see how things were, and the other to berate me over something her mom said. See, her mom is a little on the eccentric side and started asking me all sorts of questions - one which had something to do with her phone. My mistake was answering - since I don't lie, I told as little as I could. But a couple days later, her mom processed that info and ran with the idea of another person - to which she started asking my wife about it. That led to the second call to me yesterday. After we hung up, a series of apologetic texts came in associated with her knowing it looked suspicious and all - kept asking if I was mad. Maybe some guilt was there but who knows.

So, for now I have no idea where things stand, but we do have the counseling in two days. Maybe that will turn into a good thing. All this is very, very hard and all I can do is work on me - and be strong and confident enough to show weakness.

Oh, the PI turned out negative. It was just her.