Toot de Suite!

[gan]

Toots, I saw you write this on the sandi2 WW thread:

Thanks for the perspective Patient Man, and Wonka for clarifying further. I guess at the time, provocative dressing seemed quite a superficial thing to me, in the context of him having an ongoing A. And I also struggled because I have met OW and she dresses provocatively for work - lots of breast on show and tight red dresses. And I felt he was 'trying' to turn me into OW, and have me strut about the house in red dresses.

And then he said - of course not when SS is around. So I felt a bit like - so you want me to parent your S, and then dress like a prostitute. Where's me in all of this? I don't dress like that?

So, I didn't dismiss it to him. I did think a lot about it and he and I talked about it. And I have thought about it a lot since. And my overall take on it was that we let some of the passion ebb away, and our LM became more routine, and that it was more about us keeping the passion alive and kicking - than me wearing thigh high lace up boots with lots of breast on show every day.

to which I responded:

Toots - you are not alone here. I recall a similar conversation with my H pre-BD. He wanted me to wear more sexy stuff and I felt near insulted by the superficiality of that request at a time when I felt we had more important issues to address. I think it was a very MAFM WAFV moment.

Something I have been mulling over for a while now - do you think there is ever a time to express regret over our reactions to this? I mean, in hindsight, it would have been a relatively simple thing to do, right?

Amsterdam was interesting - the red light district I mean. Whereas my H's request that I dress more sexy made me feel subordinate (a trigger for me), walking around the red light district I couldn't help but think that many of the ladies actually looked rather empowered. Actually I had less of an issue with them and more of an issue with the British lads who infiltrated the city on the Friday night to seek their services.

Anyway, this is getting a bit personal so I understand if you don't want to go there...