Are you referring to whether or not you should date? I can tell you right now that going out and dating someone doesn't always attract the WAS back. I don't know what "research" you've done but the majority of the time it doesn't.
It really does depend on the individual.
I hear you, but at this point she has filed for divorce and it looks like full steam ahead. I haven't done anything yet but honestly what other options are left to me? If we are divorcing then she has lost all right for me to remain faithful. Either way, it works and we begin reconciling or it doesn't and we get divorced anyway and I move on with my life. I don't see a downside. Even MWD in DB says 'act as if you have had an epiphany, you are now a free agent with the world at your feet'. I could be wrong but please elaborate on any other options available to me, if any? Staying a friend is not one.
My 'research', if you can call it that, is purely empirical and not extensive. Interviewed 6 divorcees, 3 LBS and 3 WAS.
1 LBS continued pursuing (friendship, kids, etc.) for 3 years and eventually gave up. No attempts on her side.
2 LBS pursued for a limited time and the minute they found someone else, WAS came a knocking. Granted both LBS had WW so that could have influenced the decision.
1 WAS came back after dreading losing her LBS to another woman.
2 WAS were continuously pursued and had no intention of going back too LBS but admitted to me that the thought of their LBS beginning to see other people was of great concern to them. More so if they were to have children from another relationship.
Researched these forums and others and the WAS that has suddenly had a change of heart and is now the LBS mostly confirms this theory. The begging, pleading stopped. He/She moved on with their lives, found someone new and now I realize how much I love them and want them back. It doesn't make sense to me either but read the WAS section of this forum and the previous guy's post.
One thing I have learned from the mess I am in is relationships are strange things and people don't think clearly when love, or lack there of, is involved. People want to live in a fairytale world, but I am a realist and I know that that does not exist and M is hard work and you have to continuously fall in love with the same person over and over again. Honestly, I don't love my wife right now, but I am committed (committed - love this word, as in you have to be crazy to marry someone) to her and will love her again given the opportunity.
