Hi Wonka, AJ and Cali, At this point I have no faith that the legal system is going to do anything helpful. The reason that I agreed to the week by week thing is because my L (yes, he isn't that good of a L but...) said that it was the best that I could expect in my state. That the standard that the court gives fathers is 2 weekends a month and every other holiday. That the only way I can ever expect better was if W agreed or my D told the court she wanted to live with me. If I go to court and my D says that she wants to live with her mother, there is no way I'll stop it. Not unless I can prove that my W is "abusive" towards her. This country has become enabling to people who act like so many MLCers do. Especially with women who are being told constantly that unless they are "independent" they are somehow not "self actuated" and act like if they do what my W did, the H must have been somehow holding her back or wasn't "supportive" of her "needs".
If a man did what my W has done then they are a-holes who never were committed to their families. If our roles were reversed, I would have had full custody from the start and any judge would be throwing the book at me and dressing me down in court.
I do not care if my W gets pissed or not. I don't care if she doesn't like what I'm doing. That is NOT my concern. My concern is doing something that will make the situation worse. I have tried to be supportive of my D's relationship with her mother. I do not share my concerns about how her mothers actions can effect her. I don't "bad mouth" her, put her down. Quite the opposite I make sure that when she's angry at her mother and gets upset, I usually end up saying that I'm sure her mother loves her. I don't talk about how what her mother did and is still doing has hurt me (although I'm sure she knows much). The fact is if her mother had cared at all about her well being she wouldn't have done what she did. She didn't just leave me, she broke up a family at just about the worse time for my D. She didn't care how she hurt her kids, me, our families. She has said things like "D doesn't hurt kids" which has now been shown to be just a bunch of bull that she says to make herself feel less guilty.
I'm so sick of my W acting like an a$$ and getting her way. I'm always the one who is being pushed out, caused problems because of what SHE wants. (Like I am the one who has to drive 120 miles extra every day to get my D to and from school because she moved so far). She needs to be the one who for once pays the price for her actions. It's always the people around her like me and my D's that suffer because of her crap. Not only am I worried about making things worse, I have no money to get a new lawyer. If I could I'd move far away like Heather did and take my D's with me but until my D15 is old enough I can't. D15 has been through enough already. How we handle things now is so important and I don't trust my W one bit to do what is best for anyone but herself! I do not need this right now! I was making progress, getting my life together but every time, something kicks me back. I try not to let it but it's already hard enough with all the changes in my life. Where is the justice in all this?
