New thread, more fallout from W's MLC! I spoke with STBXW today. Seems that she has set herself up as D15's custodial parent and "isn't sure" if I'm allowed to go with my D when she is supposed to have a once a month meeting with the IC! I told her that I WILL be involved in this but W hinted that D15 doesn't want me to be a part of her counciling thru this. That she has be trying to get d to "talk" to me. I know exactly what this is about. A big part of what is bothering my d is going back and forth from my home to her mom's every other week. She feels like she has no home at all. Of course this week by week was W's idea and from the start I thought it was going to be hard on her. When I said this to W she freaked out saying I was trying to take her d away from her and turn her against her. So, I let it go. Now she has put her in school across the street from her house. My D's new friends, school events, the majority of her life is now around her mothers home. I live 30 miles away and it's so far from her school and friends. D15 told me that when she is at her moms, her mom doesn't come home until late most nights and that she avoids talking to her because all she does is yell at her. Of course being 15 she likes that she knows she has the house to herself until late, no supervision. So, now she is going to want to stay with her mother during the school week and only be with me on weekends. This isn't mind reading. This is what is going to happen.
My W stopped being a mother to both her kids years ago. So now I'm supposed to just say she gets custody? If I truly felt that it was best for my d I'd do it but its not. And to top it off it was her mothers refusing to care about her kids welfare and only thinking of what SHE wanted and not what was best for her D's that put her in the position of having to split living between two places! Those of you who have MLCers who left you with the kids are lucky. To my W it's like she won.
I will not let my W moving so far away, destroying her M, caring more about herself and what SHE wants than what is best for her kids push my D15 out of my life. I know that part of why my D is ok with staying with her mother is because she knows that if she needs me I will be there for whether she's with me or her mom. Her mom acts like when she's with me it's all up to me. Heck, even when she's with her mom I'm the one she calls if she is sick at school or if it's raining and she needs a ride..... whatever. It's like she knows I won't stop if she lives with her mom. I'm the one who takes her and her friends to the movies and concerts. Sets up ways for her to see her sister. Who teaches her how to drive and is there to talk to and cares about her. She talks about how "crazy" her mom is. How she doesn't understand her like I do. But at 15 being able to see her boyfriend alone after school is more important. That and she knows if and when she REALLY needs me ill drop everything and be there.
I don't want to lose my time with her. I am losing everything important to me because I M someone so screwed up. I am tired. I am sick of getting dumped on while my stbxw laughs on the phone talking about needing her permission to get involved in my D's problems. Time for me to go to that school and talk to them and let them know my W does NOT have sole custody and I MUST be contacted and kept in the know about what is going on. I'm pissed now. And I don't care if anything I do will make my stbxw worse off.
