So if she had, say, a gambling addiction and a loanshark kept coming around her trying to loan her money to get her to gamble some more, you would just passively allow it, saying "I have no control over her?"
I guess in my own sitch, I probably would have EVENTUALLY taken that tack. I mean, if after months or even a year my wife had seemed happy, and kept refusing to end her affair, at SOME point I would have just had to say "Well, if this is what you want, then so be it." But:
a) I would have long since removed myself from the situation; and
b) I would never do that (and didn't) without first FIGHTING for her, for some period of time (for me, it was hell-bent for 3 months). When she reconciled, she THANKED me for fighting for her.
Since affairs are highly addictive, I viewed my wife as sick, and the OM as a predator, and saw it within my role as her husband and the protector of our family to fight for her and fight to keep OM at bay as much as possible. Legally, financially, emotionally . . . everything at my disposal.
