Well s is here and Ive just been finishing off some work so about to close off the PC for the day and then much to his chagrin we're off to get the food shopping, I normally try to do it when he's not here or online order it but this week's been busy so its tonight or tomorrow really and he wants soup!
Anyway w bounced some emails back and forth today along with pics of s in a coffee shop. We were mostly talking about his food intake as we're both a little worried about his weight so we're trying to co-ordinate on food etc.
Anyway w came round and had a coffee she was very quiet as she always seems to be around me at first, this time no opening up or relaxing, hey ho. Tried to just have fun with s and we all were talking about the cat who came in to greet them both then I asked did she get everything she wanted for the wedding (tomorrow not today that was me being tired yesterday) yes her and s had picked out a nice trouser outfit again no great details, she seemed distant and didnt stay long.
So anyway will go and be with s for the next couple of days and just get on. I wish I knew what she was thinking I get the feeling sometimes its a way to withdraw and not hurt anyone (w doesnt do conflict) or maybe its just a plan to move forward or thing or...well, anything. I know this wedding is playing on my mind, still dont know why, Im pretty much chilled and relaxed otherwise although I do feel very tired emotionally from propping up the PMA and obviously around s thats all Im showing right now, I dont want to contribute to him feeling fragile or in the middle so happy daddy is all he'll see, just a little frazzled especially when w is so quiet as I find myself questioning am I saying enough, too much, the wrong thing pushing too fast or just validating.
Anyway unlikely to hear much now until Sunday, she'll go into friends mode tomorrow which she's always done and s and I will just get on with our time together. Sunday who knows. Last week I felt completely in the dumps Saturday night to the point of thinking should I just give up then we had a great day and I thought genuinely moved on a bit, I was expecting a pullback but I honestly couldnt read where she is right now, one minute happy smiling the next a million miles away, silent and frosty.
Sigh...
Well on with month 8 I suppose!
Anyway Tescos awaits.
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
