Claire, I think I can speak for both Bets and me, we weren't raised this way either. For me, it's been a long slow slog out of family dysfunction.
The things Betsey listed are things I now have to figure out in my M. We're doing it but it's been a process. More growth! We're creating a very different R than we had in, what I like to call, our first M. But it's sometimes very difficult.
You have to get there, to YOUR life, otherwise there's a danger that future R will resemble your old M.
I recently listened to an interview with Ellen Burstyn. The whole interview was full of wisdom but a few quotes stood out for me. One: "I think that we have a natural impulse to serve. We like to serve a man dinner. We like to get up and give him a cup of coffee. But that leads us down a path where it gets taken for granted. As though we are supposed to, as opposed to, we want to. One has to learn that. It’s not an obligation. It’s a gift. That we want to give. But if it’s not received as a gift, but as a duty, one starts to get their hackles up after a while." We have to be able to recognize when our "gift" becomes a supposed to rather than a want to.
Bets, I think you would love this interview-Ellen Burstyn WNYC Google is our friend. Do you remember "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore"?
Last edited by labug; 03/27/1504:21 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
We're creating a very different R than we had in, what I like to call, our first M. But it's sometimes very difficult.