Why are you accepting responsibility for her choices? Yes you messed up. You're human too and are working to take responsibility for what you did. She'll have to do the same.
One of the themes that's always present, the spouse that's leaving has to vilify the other spouse. Otherwise, they can't justify it in their heads. A pain in the A$$ to accept and I struggle with it A LOT. But it's part of what happens.
You can only own/control you. DB is for us that were left behind and always was. If we're not strong as individuals, then the WAS will feel they did the right thing.
Focus on small things that went well today. Some days that might just be getting up and dressed.
