Her moving in with OM may help your sitch a lot. Nothing like living together 24/7 to strip away the romance. Particularly if there are kids and a STBX in the mix.

Her staying at home and going off to see OM will probably keep the frisson, romance and fantasy alive longer.

JMHO...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus