I think emphasis should be placed on the disclaimer at the top.
Overall I think that if you look at the stages of grief that those need to be gone through by all parties.
So the one having the affair will need to grieve the loss of the affair partner, and if they then decide to try to reconcile they must grieve the loss of the marriage before they can reconcile.
So you have Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Withdrawal, Acceptance.
Neither partner can not avoid this, nor can you press any buttons, or have any magic fixes.
This is why DB is so good, at helping us through this time period.
