Onwards and upwards.

[25yearsmlc]

Hi Toots, I'm sure that will be the case with her family. I'd like to stay in touch with them all really.
If they don't want to, then I'll respect that of course.

SIL was saying how horrible it was at Christmas (you're telling me it was!!), as we'd always got together as a family for such a long time. Obviously those sort of things won't happen again,


I feel compelled to interject here^^^. You are now predicting the future, and negatively too. I don't get it.

I have a former sil whom I love very much - and with whom I REMAIN CLOSE. I've gone on vacations with her (and her new h!!) and with both our families.

BACKSTORY - My older brother divorced her b/c he was a fool, and he broke her heart. I would never turn my back on her.

Fortunately my brother did not ask us to do that. Sure, it's less often that we see each other, there are potentially awkward moments (which DO lessen with time), but we have made an effort to keep in touch and so, we do.

It's very feasible. Make it happen. Forget the victim status and please please do not spin your wife's words.

She did NOT say "no". On the contrary, she said "THEY could make their own decision."

I mean, short of her asking them to remain in contact with you, what was it you wanted her to say that she did not say?

but the occaional phone call, text, or even visit would be nice.
I've never really thought of them as HER family, they've been ours and we have been close.

W has avoided my family like the plague up to know. None of them have seen her since before Christmas and she told me she actually hid from my parents recently. Obviously it's awkward for W, she's the one who wants to split up and she's hurt me deeply so my family are angry with her. W says she doesn't care...yes W, I know you don't!!


but the good news is you do not have to know or guess her reasons.

because the reasons don't matter. So....BACK TO YOU NOW....


Of course if the shoe was on the other foot and I wanted the split and she'd spent 3 months in deep depression, HER family would almost certainly not want to talk to me either.So I understand why my parents are being the way they are. They don't say much to me about her to be honest. They know I don't like bad things said about her.


Here^^, I crossed thru what sounds like more negative speculation on your part, since you evidently have not been told any of it...

As you can see, there is a lot of "Stinking thinking" that goes into your take on things. Let's work on that attitude, okay?

Maybe you can begin to TALK more with people in your interactions.

I hope that's something you get out of this ordeal. Really, I do.


This is just another one of the sad results of divorce I guess, dealing with ex-in laws too. It's not nice, but then hey, no-one says divorce is a fun thing!!
Ultimatley, my old life is gone (but not forgotten). Time to move on with my kids into what I hope will be an exciting future.

Well, those sisters in law and brothers in law and your in laws are STILL your children's uncles and aunts and grandparents.

Nurture those relationships as well as you can for the sake of your children, AND b/c it's the right thing to do

(And yes, b/c you want to Keep the Road Home, Paved & Smooth)...

AND b/c those in-laws have been deeply saddened by this.

Like your sil crying... SHE FELT SAD that your m was ending -- and you told her not be sad. (??)

I don't get your reaction at all.

When my soon to be ex sister in law cried when my brother left her, it was partly b/c she felt she was losing all of us. "Losing the whole family", - we meant a lot to her.

I reassured her that it was not true; we'd always be sisters. That meant so much to her.

Seems to me your SIL fears the loss of you, and the decrease in seeing her niece/nephew.
Might be nice for you to reassure them that you are not dropping off the face of the earth. Don't punish them (or your kids) because you are hurt.

Make sense?