Introduction - least creative title

[Closer2]

W came back home for a few days. She told me she missed me and missed the kids. Maybe she came back to make sure her plan b was still pining for her, I don't know. However, I allowed her to suck me back to a place that I can't stay away from...sex.

The next day she was up and down. A total rollercoaster with being physical and not being physical. She loves me but feels no connection to me, etc.

I know it may be frowned upon on here, but I was okay with being physical and proceeding with the divorce. My plan was to continue learning, start GAL more, focus on my personal issues and things I needed to do be a better husband and father.

Her EA (PA not confirmed) really wasn't an issue for me. I guess it would have been if the guy lived in the same city, was in this city all the time, or even had a car. It feels strange for me to say that. I think about it, but I don't let it consume me anymore.

Anyway, this morning I had enough of the rollercoaster. She was very distant this morning while I was getting ready for work. She told me that she didn't know if she could stay in the house any longer. I tried to avoid the conversation and asked her if we could discuss it later because I had to get the kid to school and myself to work.

She called me at work and asked me to have my attorney send her the final changes to the decree. She told me again that she didn't know if she should stay at the house, she was confused, etc.

I realized that I didn't want her at the house just for sex. I didn't want her at home because I can't handle the kids. I wanted her at the house because I can't detach. It's impossible for me to detach when she is here and we are close. I am focusing too much on her and not enough on myself.

I agreed with her. I told her that I really do understand how it's hard for her because it's hard for me.

She sent me a text apologizing for calling me at work and talking about leaving the house and that we could talk about it tonight. Honestly, I had no desire to discuss it any further with her. These few days have proven to me that I will never be able to truly focus on myself and becoming a person I am happy with unless I let go of my W.

As she was walking out the door with our daughter, my son became very upset. He said that he hates divorce and we shouldn't do it. I let her try to calm him down a bit because I was afraid I would start agreeing with my son. After a bit, I whispered in his ear that we needed to go get ice cream and he calmed down. W thanked me for helping and told me that she would call me tonight. I told her she didn't have to call me, he'll be fine.

Divorced dad's must keep ice cream shops in business. We had a great time getting ice cream and hanging out. I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with my kids. We always did stuff as a family and I regret not doing more stuff with just the kids.

Letting her stay in the house and sleep in my bed was a mistake. If she asked to stay here again, I will let her. She will not sleep in the MBR though.