OK. You're right guys. I did hijack a bit. Sorry for that. I was starting to view this as a "general thread" when it was Sandi's created for a specific and generous point.
Getting back on track I DO appreciate the contributions I made to the destruction of my M, and understand that my STBX went through horrible and prolonged pain before getting to the point she'd consider making the choices she did. I regret my shortcomings and am still working on them. I regret the pain I caused. And I am empathetic to how difficult this has been for her.
Yet I agree that ultimately she made her decisions and is responsible for them, and disagree that she had no alternative and that my shortcomings voided out our commitments to the M.
There, back on track!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15