For the LBH who has a WW Part 3

[Mozza]

Thanks Zeus126, I appreciate your perspective a lot. It's not so far from mine as I also wish that my W had been as sincere as me when pronouncing her vows. I have this mental image of her eyes full of tears looking into mine as she said them, not five years ago. I'm immensely hurt as I feel she's taken advantage of me.

The slight difference is that, in my view, the M can be ended as long as the spouses follow a "protocol". It would never be a surprise to either spouses. There would be some serious talks, improvement plans, MC, etc until one consistently fails to deliver his share. W and I had agreed on this and even criticized our friends who S or D overnight. As sandi2 said, past beliefs of the WW are no guide for her current behavior.

I'm upset that my W mentioned S when it was a done deal. I would have taken an ultimatum, a break, a deadline — anything telling me that she had reached her breaking point. She wrote me this email about feeling miserable, but it was in the heat of an argument and she had her share of blame in it, so I took her messages as part of this discussion. I realize now that I was blind, that it was more important than that. What would have opened my eyes, and did, was the S word. She never told me until her decision was made, in a haste.