I apologize if this is not correct usage of this message board. I'm only posting my history here to give some background to my situation and hoping you all may give me some good advice which I'm not getting out here in the real world. I know this isn't Supposed to be used for counseling and that isn't my intent.
I'm 37 my wife is 33. We've been together about 15 years (a break while she was away at college then we got together again) and married 3 years and have a 6 year old son. We were rocky when my son was born but stayed together and I moved in with them when my son was about 2. Things were seemingly good to me though we had some fights/arguing occasionally. About a year into our marriage we had a huge fight and she told me how terrible of a husband I've been and after taking a long loom in the mirror I knew she was right. I never wanted to do things with her because I'm uncomfortable in social situations, I didn't make her feel appreciated or compliment her, I didn't do enough to help out around the house, etc. Basically I made her feel like we were roommates rather than a couple. And I get it. So I started doing the things I wasn't doing before and stopped doing what I was but we still kept fighting. There were periods of calm and we got along but we had 1 big fight per month that kept getting worse.
We separated in the beginning of February... I moved out at her request. This separation was supposed to be space for us to stop the fighting and hopefully start working on things. We were both having a hard time with the separation and still had some fights. Nothing too bad but enough to not help. Anyway, I found she slept with someone else last week. She'd been acting strangely and finally came clean. Initially she said it's not a big deal because we're separated but then she became very remorseful and said it was the biggest mistake of her life. She looked terrible and got in huge trouble at work which said was because how bad she felt and couldn't concentrate and almost caused a serious problem at work.
Of course I was angry and said some things I regret but after I cooled off I apologized and said I understand why it happened, as hard as it is to swallow. I told her I still want to try and work things out if she does. She said she still has a small glimmer of hope that we can but she knows it'll be hard for me to move on and she doesn't know if she can forgive herself and look me in the eye. Right now we're barely talking other than stuff concerning our son. Every time I see her she looks like she'd been crying and she says she's having a really hard time dealing with everything i.e. separation, work, her "mistake", etc. She says she's falling into a depression. She also said this mistake wasn't a planned thing and she was so lost and stressed she just made the mistake of seeking some kind of comfort and escape. I don't know if I should believe her remorse and if I should continue trying to save our marriage. I still love her and want it to work but I'm so lost and confused right now.
After reading my story could you please share your thoughts with me? Please?!?! Does her remorse sound sincere? Does that sound like a reasonable explanation to why she slept with someone? Am I being naive in still hoping to save our marriage? I'm willing to move passed this and put in whatever time and effort I need to and correct my own issues but I'm worried I'm wasting my time. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Me:37, W:33, S:7
T:10 total (split while she was in college)
M:3
S:2/4/15
EA confirmed: 3/7/15
D mentioned numerous times since 2/4/15, nothing filed...yet