I googled co-dependency because I wasn't sure what it was. I bow to your superior knowledge in this area, I just feel I have a strong attachment to her because she is my wife and I love her. I agree that maybe this has been too strong and I have indulged in things and behavioural patterns for the purpose of pleasing her, not myself.
When you quoted my comments, I understand what you mean. I was never really aware of the things that she didn't like. OK, maybe I was with some of them but dismissed them. If I had been then I would have changed those things for her if they were things that I agreed were not desirable. I am now making those changes because I realise that they are not desirable traits in me. I dearly hope that my wife notices these changes and responds positively but if she doesn't then they will be there still for whoever comes along next. It is a paralyzing fear that my wife will end up in a proper relationship with someone else, I will too, and it will haunt both of us and our children for a lifetime.
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
