Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: alpha99
If she'd said X has to stop from now on, or could you do Y for me please, then I really would have took on board what she said. That is the most frustrating part - the things that are broken are easily fixable but she won't give me the chance to show her that.






This ^^^ is what I'm talking about, Alpha. This ^^^ is unhealthy co-dependency. You don't make the self-improvements in your life for HER, you do them for YOU and for your kids, and to build yourself up into a much better partner for the next woman down the road. And if in so doing, it re-attracts your wife back? Well then, BONUS. grin

I guarantee you that your wife smells this fear and co-dependency, this "just tell me what to do, and I'll do it!!!" It's literally repulsive to her, I can assure you. She would much rather see a man that stands up for his own beliefs, passions and interests, and says "I'd still love for you to share these with me, but if not . . . I realize I'll be okay and the kids will be too and we've got a wonderful life."

THAT is where you want to get to.


Starsky


YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ventured into the dating world a little these past few months and I can tell you one thing. The guys that are falling all over themselves to send flowers, be available when I have an hour to meet up, text whenever and suddenly love whatever I say I do IRRITATE the crap out of me. Drop them so fast it will make your head spin.
Be true to yourself, but first FIND YOURSELF!


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction