To Pursue or Not #2

[Arcola]

Starsky,

I appreciate your straight forward advice as well as others here on the boards. Falling into those low points are when I find myself disregarding principles or as I’m coming to believe that I’m codependent to her. I truly want to save my marriage as others on here.

This contradicts what I just said, but in the beginning I read any and every article that applied to my situation. I hung around another similar site, with same principles but focused on exposing the affair and also read the DB book. However, lows, mix of feelings, my natural personality, led me astray in my goal to save my marriage.

I do post here looking for advice or reassurance, but I know I’m probably being complacent, hoping for things to just turn around quickly. I do read the latest few posts on some threads each night before I go to bed, but I’m tending to look for that silver bullet that just turns this around. I paid for the three 50 minute sessions back in Dec., had one in Dec., and haven’t scheduled another one since.

Not on the defense here, but I haven’t put forth the 100% I should.

Alpha,

OM2 is in another country. He is military and was on a short assignment here. This instance of sex we had comes about 5 months since we last had sex. No, she hasn’t been tested and neither have I yet.

We are separated and we split the time caring for the kids 50/50 for the most part. I have them Wed. evening – Saturday mornings. We tend to spend a lot of time together, especially on weekends when we take the kids somewhere that is not in our small city. When I pull back and don’t pursue, she tends to start conversation on something. It’s hard to tell if she’s reacting to my semi-detachment or if I'm misperceiving her.