When is kindness enough?

[Card29]

Ripe,

You might take a look at my sitch/story. It also started in June 2014. Yours is a little different with her still living under the same roof (my WAW left in July). But that far from rules out an A. From June until December, I was positive she was not having an A. I even hired a PI in August who didn't find anything. But she was in an R with OM that entire time.

Regarding depression, my WAW also suffers from it. She has since she was a teenager. I also attributed this as to why she left, as opposed to her having an A. I still think I was somewhat right, that her depression played a huge role in her decision about our M. But it turns out she was so miserable, she turned to OM for relief, because those initial chemicals of love are so powerful and relieving. Perhaps if she'd been mentally healthy, she would have decided on marriage counseling and really trying to work through our problems. But that is hypothetical and in the past.

I've also learned that I can't cure or nurture my WAW's depression. That is her journey. I am now a cheerleader for her, even as I'm no longer hoping for our M. She even confided with me that she attempted suicide last fall during this crisis. If you still have hope, that's great. Keep your hope! But I'll share the words uRworthy shared with me once:

You can have hope. Nothing wrong with that. You can have it. You just dont want to live in it, ya know?

And finally, whether she's having an A or not, she is wayward and she needs to see a masculine, independent, strong man to eventually begin to be re-attracted to you. But don't focus on re-attracting her, even if that's the only thing your heart desires right now. You need to detach for your own sake, for your own benefit. She will see through you doing anything to impress her. Just DETACH for YOU! The good news is that what will be best for you if the M does end is also what gives you the best chance to reconcile! So let go of the fear of loss and detach.