All the GALing etc in the world is great, all the DB'n techniques fantastic, but what is the point of anything if you can't be with your W and kids?
Your kids, YES. But Alpha if you NEED your wife, then that isn't love . . . it's co-dependency. And it's NOT healthy.
And I think you clearly DO "need" her in order to even get through more than 24 hours with your stability intact. I think you're going to need some really good individual counseling to deal with this, as it's way above MY pay grade or really any of us on an anonymous internet relationship forum. Because yes, the DB principles DO require you to not pursue, and yet you're basically saying (and showing us) that you NEED to, you NEED to be with her in order to even be happy in your life.
Our spouse should be our FROSTING, not our CAKE.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much. As for the God thing, I too used to cry out to Him to DO something. And thru my sitch, I realized that He was waiting for ME to, and that He would help me. And He did.
