For the LBH who has a WW Part 3

[alpha99]

Thanks for all the LRT and child related responses.

I guess my sitch is different in that although W had A, because I handled the fall out of BD so badly (crying/pleading/threats etc) I was in no emotional state to mind the kids. W has moved out with kids and is dictating when I see them (at the mo 2-3 times a week, short periods of time, in her company, no overnight stays with me). If things were 50/50 custody wise I would find it easier to detach as per LRT.

Since she holds all the cards (is the mother, better income, hasn't cried/made threats etc) I see little joy coming from the legal route. I'm hoping building trust can enable me to have more time with the kids to the point where we have some sort of joint childcaring arrangement. This is where fear of abandonment comes in. I long to be there for them but right now I'm not (can't be/not allowed).

3rd party drop offs sound a good idea for future reference, a way to step back and ensure no pursuit takes place. Starksy recommended cozi calander too, which looks a good idea.

We are having minimal text/phone contact right now. I long for more and feel guilt/shame/loss for our R status and our children's upbringing.