Here is a script to keep in the back of your pocket for now. I will wait to hear about the April situation.
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Regarding reclaiming the MBR as your own, you can approach W in this way:
“W, we need to talk. I have given this whole situation some thought. By staying in contact with OM, it is disrespectful to me and our marriage. I can’t stay in an open marriage. I don't want to make the situation more confusing for us, and especially the kids, right now. I have decided that I would prefer that you stay out of my bedroom at night."
If your W protests and says it’s her bedroom too and you cannot force her out, pull out this line: “Really? I am not sharing you with another man. I am not going to discuss or debate this with you. ”
If W pushes in and tries to lay down or sit on the bed in a defiant manner, you can say:
“I am going to repeat this only once: please leave now.”
If W digs in, then say in a calm voice but FIRMLY: “Get out now.”
If W tries throw out the “you’re controlling” line at you, you can calmly say:
“I can see how you would see it that way. I am trying to be open and honest here. I need for us to separate physically.”
Then calmly stay in your bedroom and point the door.
If W tries to prolong the conversation, simply say:
“I have made my position very clear to you. I am not having this conversation with you.”
