If I may throw something in here, and I know I've asked a lot of questions already, but it's this: I have looked and looked through this site and elsewhere at how a LBH (or W for that matter) might implement the last resort technique when there are children involved. On the surface it would seem simple, keep contact to a minimum and only child related. In reality life is not so simple, particularly with children involved, and I wonder how feelings of personal guilt, abandonment of children, guilt implied by S, and other factors come into play when you are at this stage.
If this is not where you would like this discussion to go then please forgive me. At the same time if anyone reading this has any good resources relating to this then I would really appreciate them letting me know.
It's the perfect place. Those who have been able to use the LRT with children still in the home, would probably be more than I can. I can tell you this much, I have seen it done!
My SIL divorced her first H and they had two small children. The judge decided the schedule for holidays, visits, etc. there was no phone calls, texts, or emails. Didn't even have cell phones or home computers at that time. Yet, the world figured out they. Old co-parent without them.
She hated him, and if they ever spoke face to face, I never heard about it. She says they didn't. They had a third person to run interference, if absolutely necessary. They may have had passed notes back & forth by the kids, at swap time, IDK.
My point is that our society has become too dependent on mobile devices and having communication at their fingertips. Even today, my H and I don't make calls to each other during the day (unless one has been sick or for some percise reason) b/c we did not have those things available or grew dependent on them when we were younger, so we don't feel the need now. I get so amazed at how younger couples act these days. They can't get through the work hours without calling to see how the other one's day is going! They act so emotionally dependent on each other. What do they do If they are S and co-parenting, they are constantly contacting each other to "discuss" something of "importance" like reminding one of them to bring the kid's coat or there is a ball game, etc. It seems unnecessary IMHO, b/c I have seen it work without that contacting back and forth. It looks more like an excuse in order to get to make contact. You have a fixed schedule and that's that! None of this changing day from day. That's horrible. Unless there is a true emergency you don't contact the other parent, and have a third member to intervene, if possible.
If there is no chance of having someone run interference, then narrow it down to more than once a week to work out "logistics" (as all the parents calls it) and it should not be that often. Once a month is better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
