Life after D - 01 - going from dark to light

[gogofo]

Been about a week since I have updated my situation.

Things have been pretty steady the last week. After the rough day I had on the 19th I have felt better. I had the kids last weekend again and we had lots of fun. They are definitely the light of my life.

On Sunday I felt a little weird when getting ready for the kid exchange. I was a little anxious and didn't say too much to the XW or chat her up. I think I asked one question about the concert and said "good", grabbed some of my cook books and left.

I have been keeping the interactions shot and have not been acting like her friend.

Monday I went and watched the kids at swim lessons which was very fun. I took them swimming last Friday and it was awesome. The youngest is getting more and more brave about getting all the way under water.

I have noticed the XW doing some different things when trying to interact with me. This morning she called me to tell me that a set of copper pans that we had together were on sale. I found this weird and random and would not have answered the phone but I thought it was about the kids as she had only been calling before when it was about them.

I find myself looking around and thinking more about dating or flirting or talking to women. When DBing before I would notice cute girls but never think about engaging them as I still felt married. Now I am wanting to get back in the saddle and see what it out there.

I don't know if it is healthy or not right now to do it though. I know I miss the feeling of being in love or the companionship of a woman and I also miss being physical. There are a couple things that I don't want and that is a new W. I am not looking at starting a serious R with anyone, but getting out and dating and being friendly with someone would feel good.