Just told her that as long as she's in contact with the OM, I'm really trying to hold back my feelings for her. I told her again she has to go NC in order for us to move on.
Did you mean this? Or was it merely a tactic to try to attract her back to you?
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From my understanding, 180 is doing the opposite of what a S did during the relationship. I'm guilty of showing little affection and admiration for my W, something she's defintely getting from the OM. If I do the opposite, then I would actually have to prove her that I do admire her and please her, right?
NO, not as long as she's in an active affair. Then you'd just be doing the ol' "Choose Me!" dance, and that is NOT attractive, I can assure you. Not to her, and then YOU would also feel like cr*p for having done it.
There will be time for you to show her all of the love, attention, pursuit and affection that you may have neglected to before, but that will have to come AFTER she (hopefully) makes the decision to end her affair and to come back and work on the marriage with you. If you do it now, she will only continue to cake-eat.
