Thanks, Cadet. My friend just talked to me. Said she see and understands all the manipulation, but she also knows he is probably feeling like I gave up on him and kicked him out.
There's just no going back after this. What he did and how he handled it. I remember him sitting on the couch saying something about how it was him I had a problem with, this couldn't work - no, H, it's your behavior - W, I am my behavior - there is counseling and support for this - yeah, yeah, I hear you saying that, but change takes years...
Why am I doubting myself? This has been flat out abusive behavior and manipulative and he didn't care to work on it. My friend says maybe I pushed too hard and cornered him when I asked him what he wanted to do about it - maybe another couple of days to think would have helped. But then - why didn't he take the two-three days he had and think? Could I live with this kind of thing any longer, as bad as I am hurting now?
Why am I concerned that he felt I was such an enemy and no good for him - the tears were real, sure...but why am I backsliding into thinking of writing him, having lunch, talking with him about it? It's what we always did.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
