For the Newcomer LBH who has a wayward wife Part 2

[alpha99]

Sandi, your comments are like gold dust so please don't stop. You post some of the most insightful comments on the whole board. Your last few paragraphs saying that although LBH may have had some part in the R breakdown but ultimately it is the WW who is responsible for her actions certainly ring true.

I have noticed on my thread people saying it is all script. I get what they mean, it's par for the course. You talk about sincerity. Of course a WW can be sincere in what she is saying. One of the rules is not to believe what she is saying, doing etc.

May I ask, at what point should one believe what they are being told? I ask because isn't there the chance that although it has been said many times before by many WWs, a particular WW may be right, sincere, and determined in her speech and subsequent actions.

Are there any points when the script becomes reality in your experience here, and how would one know when that moment has occurred?

Do you know at what point this 'script' will be discarded and 'normal thought' might be resumed. I'm sure there is not an average time, so does it need to be a crisis moment or some other point?

Your description of how a EA with co-worker becomes a PA described my WW's situation to a 'T'. If everything is all part of a process, as has been mentioned in the post between yours, what is the next step in the process once it has been established that the WW is following a script?

I hope I haven't asked too many questions. I've tried to keep things general so that any answers help as many LBH's such as me.

On a personal note (more in my threads) WW has rented a new place, has the kids, wants to sell our house, and ultimately at some point wants to D. She mentoins fresh start, clean break, ILYBINILWY, marriage was a mistake, not happy in years, and is adamant she is done with our R. All seems to follow 'the script'.

I know each situation is different but given the overall similarity of what a WW says is there an flip side script that LBH may follow in turning things around?

EDIT: to answer myself, I guess DB'ing is a general answer here. However incredibly good and useful that is in general, it is also 'made to fit' each sitch. One thing I struggle with is exactly what, where, and when to apply elements of DB/DR.