For the Newcomer LBH who has a wayward wife Part 2

[Sotto]

Hi Sandi - very interesting. I've responded to at least one poster with a similar query about responsibility.

One of the things I have struggled with in our sitch is that my H didn't 'fall' into an A in the way you describe. He decided to start 'dating' whilst working away. He then went out for drinks with two women who had previously been attracted to him. And then had an A with another close colleague/friend who already had a partner. I've struggled with the deliberateness of all this.

I have really had to reflect on my lack of awareness of his unhappiness and our inability to communicate about it. He has acknowledged that he let small problems build into big things and that he sent out 'weak signals' about his own unhappiness. He also said that he put his own needs last and this became unsustainable. Months after his A began, he was still telling me out M was 'perfect' even though I had found evidence of an EA.

I'm not downplaying my role in things. I can see that I missed signals about his unhappiness and that our love life had become routine rather than exciting. I put a lot of things down to work stress, because he wasn't saying anything about 'us.' That whole aspect I find really difficult and next time around, I would make sure that deeper communication doesn't get lost through general business and 'life,'

Just my thoughts anyway - and obviously this is a WAH not a WAW!