Alpha - the future is now!

[alpha99]

The thing I find difficult is gauging the extent to which I interact. Take Friday for example. If we go bowling it's a physical activity. I can focus on kids of course and have fun with them, no R talk with W etc, it's I struggle with whether to not say anything and wait for her to speak, drop little bits if conversations but nothing big, or be as friendly and as nice as I can be...and it seems she wants.

If her problem has been I haven't been nice to her, how would pulling back help? If I shouldnt pursue, how do I be nice without doing so? I'm aware of doing what's counter intuitive. I'm also scared if doing what's wrong. What a mess.

EDIT: it's taking everything I have not to send her 'one more message with meaning'. I know it won't work but I just...want to.

I won't though.

Just to point out: W is only person I've ever been with. I am only real person she has been with (apart from OM recently of course). By 'real' I mean sex. We've both kissed others of course when younger, and she hung around with a lad from college before we met but not in a serious way, more a schoolyard sort of way. This is therefore the first time I've ever had my heartbroken...and man it is not good.