I suppose there is no point to it. But I want to ask him why he had to be so cruel and cold. To tell him I think of trying to ever trust and believe someone again and I want to vomit. That I thought I was worth more than this to him. To ask why he didn't apologize, even if he didn't want to be in this relationship anymore. To ask how he could tell me how lucky he was the day before.
And yet I am sitting here trying to blame myself. It is true. I am trying to imagine how difficult I was to live with and how he must have felt. Even though I am almost sure he knew how he was playing me. My MC/IC said that she isn't sure he is ready to admit to himself how manipulative he is.
I need to get my head out of his his.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
