Onwards and upwards.

[Mozza]

Barry,

In the first couple of months of my sitch, I remember thinking that the timing would be perfect to be hit by cancer or a bus. I also remember thinking that all women but my W were ugly. Also, I couldn't understand how anybody could have the energy to start a project. How does the world even turn with this much pain in it?

You know what I'm going to say: it gets better. Just now I'm listening to a song I discovered yesterday and absolutely love. I had stopped watching TV for 4-5 months and now I follow a few series that I really enjoy. I bought tickets for a 3-day music festival and couldn't be more thrilled and, I'm astonished to say, a little happy that my sitch allows me to do this freely. And I see a lot of pretty women around.

What must be hardest for you is that you were getting better and then you got hit by these financial problems with real life consequences. Does it feel like you'll be at the bottom for a long time or even that things are going to get worse? If so, you must know that your life will be better than today in a year, and better than this another year later.

Here's a thought: there is passion in your future. Whether it's R with W or a new relationship, you will be in love, excited, having some mad sex, going out on dates and laughing a lot. Even for myself, I don't know how it's going to happen, but it has to. 20 years is a long time, but it's still just a quarter of your life. There's a lot ahead of you.

I'm going to recommend another book to you: "Models" by Mark Manson. It's a book about attracting women through honesty. It is the perfect complement to NMMNG but regarding women. It's not a pick-up artist kind of book; it's a book that forces you to reflect on your fear of rejection, but also what truly attracts women. And I mention that not in terms of dating new women, but of understanding what attracts your W. You can't afford these breakdowns in front of her anymore. Your gut is telling you to make one last attempt to convince her, but your gut has to understand how she'll be convinced. I keep thinking of all the LBH and WAW around here when I read the book because it overlaps a lot with DR even.

Vapo is right also: you need to GAL. If you can't plan anything, at least go for a walk, stop for a coffee and watch people walk by. I hit the bottom when I stay home too long and I reach new heights when I get busy. You need it a lot now.