Alpha - the future is now!

[alpha99]

Hi everyone,

I'm well aware I shouldn't be talking about R right now with W. Avoiding that topic completely is going to be the best way to do that because as soon we get near R talk I do start to fall apart slightly. I suppose I should be thinking of the positives instead:

W is speaking to me and wants to be friendly (BUT THAT'S IT!)

W is open to letting me have the children more and more.

We have been out together twice since last Friday, with this Friday also in the pipeline (I know this is more of a supervisory situation than family time).

W realises I want to be there for our children as much as possible.

I believe A is over. Certainly as far as I know W is not engaging in a free and open relationship with anyone/anyone else. As long as this that is the case then there is always hope.

I can't remember everything that was said last night but I'm sure at one point W mentioned about if things got better I could stay over on the couch for special occasions wit kids. I'm not certain if that is exactly what she meant, that's what I took from it though. The conversation moved on and I didn't ask. It was either that or she was talking about the kids staying over night with me. I think it was the former rather than latter she meant though.

It is SO HARD not to contact W unnecessarily. After dealings with her I feel a short lived boost followed by a massive low that the interaction doesn't last.

There is a story in the Expect the Impossible section of DR that seems like my sitch: W said I hate you, don't love you etc...H spent more family time with no pressure or R talks, and over time things started to get better. That is the blueprint I think I am going to have to follow now.

W pointed out clearly how I was controlling her, restricting her, putting her down and generally making her feel like crap. I wonder how to navigate this. Would LRT work? I know I need to give her space and not pursue but when we are together should I be working on doing 180s on all the behaviour traits she doesn't like, be bright and breezy, upbeat etc, or do something else. I think it is time for another coaching session.