ET, stop focusing on her. I know it [censored] big time, but stop with mind reading and stop factoring her into any and all equations, because if you count on her, then you have certain expectations and when these are not met, then you set yourself up for heartache. Learn not to have any expectations of her and trust me, you'll be better off for it. Just live your life without her around.
And no, do not invite her to a family dinner, dude, that is pressure on her and that is a NONO. Plus as I mentioned it built up your expectations, so you were disappointed when she arrived late and left early. Do not try to play family with her, her mind is elsewhere and no, she will not simply snap out of it when she sees you and your son.
And don't try to "punish" her in any way, karma will take care of that. Just try to let go of your anger and be the best dad and person you can be. Let that be your revenge...
