RAI- There are quite a few veteran posters around here who give great advice about what to do with a wayward wife who is still in the marital home. Hopefully one of them will drop by your thread shortly.
I will just make one comment - it seems like you are basing a lot of these decisions on fear - you might not kick her out of the bedroom because you want to minimize awkwardness, you let her make the Passover decision out of fear of how she would present the decision, etc.
I'm just going to say that no matter how hard you try, some of this is going to be messy and you are going to break some eggs while trying to work on your marital omelet. I haven't dealt with your specific situation at all - but I think you probably want to start taking action and making decisions based on what you know to be right - not what you fear her reaction wil be.
