Back in August my Husband found out the money he gave me to pay my taxes back in 2009 went elsewhere. The money he gave me was from a settlement he got when his brother was hit by a car. I'd forgotten about it, and it came back to bite me in the butt.
I apologized profusely, I paid part of my taxes, but not all of it. I really could not remember, and it took a while, but I found all of my documents and admitted I screwed up. He wasn't close to his brother, but I knew he felt betrayed.
The damage was done, and he started picking me apart, and began an all out assault on my character.
In November we had a nasty argument.
I had been extremely stressed out, and depressed about my job, I was working to try to make a name for myself at anew company, and the hours were terrible because no one else would do the work. He had been working hard too, and things had been difficult, because we weren’t seeing each other, and I was exhausted. He accused me of withholding sex, and because of the tax issue - he didn't trust me anymore.
The argument made him so angry he wanted to hit me. He didn't.
Just before this argument his best friend was killed violently by police, in an argument because of his girlfriend, and her new boyfriend.
He told me that because of how angry I made him, we weren't supposed to be together. People who were meant to be together don’t argue that way. He felt nothing for me - every argument ripped a way a piece of his heart, and normally it came back, and he could feel for me again - but now there was nothing in his heart for me. I told him I could not believe he could just stop loving me. That things were difficult, but we could get through it together.
At first he said he would look for a therapist - but weeks went by, and nothing. He would treat me like crap, and insult me.
He brought up old boyfriends, incidents that he said he'd gotten over, the fact that I could never take a compliment, and I don't think I'm pretty became an issue (everyone I know including him knows that about me), he even blamed the fact that I like having sex in the morning (like 5AM) meant that we were incompatible.
He stopped wearing his wedding ring because he said it physically hurt to wear it
I asked if it was because one of his close friends, a woman (who we went to therapy for because I thought they were a little too close) - was about to possibly get engaged to her boyfriend.
He said no - of course - but she did get not engaged.
We have been together intimately recently, and there have been moments, but he has not decided to reconcile.
He recently hung out with his group of girl friends from his job, and was very distant.
Shielding his phone when I walk by.
He has lied to me about what he was doing on his phone (I know I should have just let it go), and lashed out calling me profane names, and just being generally disrespectful, and nasty.
I was laid off in January. I have no place to move to. I have no money to move, and I am in school.
He hasn’t filed for divorce yet, but I expect any day now he will.
He keeps saying it will be “no fault”, and I should not contest it because it is all my fault. 100% my fault.
I am at my wits end, looking for work scrambling to hold onto a little piece of my dignity. Worrying what people at his job think of me, his circle of girlfriends.
