Confused & mix messages part 2

[Cherry]

Asked me about MC again. This is scaring the sh*t outta me as the mindset he is in- I feel he will go. Not talk, be set in his fog that he's ending this. He said he wants to get the D done quick as possible, probably to ease his conscience of the A. So I feel he's only pushing MC to help him achieve this quick.
I feel so so low right now, I am really struggling. He is out every night and all day, I scarcely see him anymore. I wake up hoping I've realised he means nothing to me. And when I don't feel like that I feel even worse. Been out today- but had such bad anxiety- trying not to cry in front of people. Today nothing is helping me switch my mind off