I'm so very sorry for your financial troubles. This comes at the wrong time, definitely. Everything was going to fall into place after the S and now you have another battle front. This is not what you needed right now. I completely understand that it's more about getting your life together post-S/D than anything else. In fact, you have the right attitude to this whole ordeal, one of acceptance. In a very short time, you've become very good at DBing.
The only thing you could change is to stop thinking in terms of chances to R. I know why you do it and I've done it for a very long time. In fact, I probably still do it in the back of my head. But the only place where this pessimism brings you is down. It's not the first time I tell you but I will repeat it: Some success stories of R have gone through where you're going and worse. Some better ones have never R. You don't know. You really, really don't. I know you hear and watch your W and think: "She's really moving on. She's clear. She says so, she walks the walk." People who have R have heard the same thing and more. They apparently hated each other, they moved in with OM, etc. I'm not saying yours is a sure bet, I'm saying that you speculate on things that you don't know, so not only is it pointless but it brings you down.
The helpful thing to do for you is to take action, acknowledging your current situation, but not extrapolating. You don't do it for her anyway, you do it for yourself, so there's just no point.
You've been doing good so far. Keep us posted on this financial situation. I really hope you'll find a solution. Not to sound like Richard Branson here, but �10,000 doesn't sound like such a huge amount, compared to an entire mortgage. By the way, don't exaggerate the impact: you'll get back most of the money you put in the house when you sell. Also, maybe you can't afford a mortgage now, but your life will turn around in the coming years, maybe you'll meet someone else or R, and you'll be able to buy a house again if that's what you want. Personally, I'm your age and I've never had a mortgage.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
