Onwards and upwards.

[Barry]

I saw a friend last night and ending up breaking down for the first time in weeks. All the finance problems have hit me hard. If I can't sort it out (and it's looking likely I won't be able to), not only will I have lost the woman I loved (and love) to pieces, I'll lose the kids, I'll lose the house I've paid into for years and won't be able to afford another mortgage.

It's not that I'm emotionally attached to my house as such, it's only that by taking her offer, I was getting as good a deal as possible and I'd get half my kids living with me. We'd agreed on how things were going to work and although I wasn't happy with the sitch, I'd accepted that this was the way forward. It seemed like such a simple solution on paper.

All I wanted now I'd accepted the fact that my M is over, is to get all this over with as soon as possible. My STBX wants out of the house and the marriage quickly - and that's what I intended to make happen. There's as good as no chance of R between us before we D - she's litteraly a stranger to me now. I can't even think about whatever slim chance there may be.

I'm still so angry that she's done this to me and our family.
She's thrown me under a bus and I can't even pick myself up, dust myself off and move on without her.